Fear

I’ve known fear since a very early age but thankfully I was never in any real danger. Even writing these words is somehow liberating, I was never in danger…yet I frightened my body and mind into thinking I was.

The first time I can remember feeling anxious and fearful was at the age of  5, I was so frightened of being  asked a question and getting shown up for being wrong, that my whole body became rigid. I can remember feeling panic as the teacher looked around the room to ask questions to the class. I couldn’t keep up with what the teacher was saying or hear my classmates replies. I kept my gaze to the floor and felt the knot in my stomach rise as the teachers eyes darted towards me. “Don’t pick me, don’t pick me.”

I never thought to think that if I paid full attention to what the teacher was saying in class and to the answers my classmates gave that I could learn from them. I never thought to think that if I got one question wrong, it did not warrant a label it was just a mistake, I could learn from it and move on.

Fear is like a weed that can choke us and stop us from growing but we have the power to pull up the routes and freely breathe.